The Latest Update

I just don't know where the last week has gone!Between getting the kids ready for school, going to doctors appointments, calling the doctors office to make sure that all the forms are filled, last week just flew!
So, here is where we stand so far. I had an appointment with the neurosurgeon on Tuesday, the 12th. He did an exam and looked at my films with me again. He feels that it is what is know in the business as a low-grade probably benign tumor. The plan is to do a biopsy of it on September 2nd. The results of the biopsy will determine the treatment plan. It could possibly involve some chemo or radiation to shrink the tumor. Why cancer treatment if it is a benign tumor? This will help shrink the tumor and restore some of the function that I have lost. Unfortunately, because of where the tumor is located, he can't just take it out. That would mean that I would end up possibly partially paralyzed, unable to speak or think very well. That is just not what I am going for here!
I know many of you have asked about a second opinion. They have done everything to determine what is going on. The undeniable fact is that I have a big tumor in my brain. The second opinion will come after the biopsy when we have results to help determine the best plan of action.
The biopsy only requires an overnight hospital stay, so that's good.
As anyone can imagine this has been a tough time emotionally and physically draining. I am still incredulous that I actually have a brain tumor. The chances of developing a brain tumor in a person's lifetime is less than 1%. So, why me? Who did I piss off? I keep saying "A brain tumor, reallly??!!" We are finally at a point in our life where things are going well. We live in this wonderful community. We have friends. Our kids have friends. We're fixing up our house, living the American Dream and then BAM, it all turns around.
Most days, I accept it and I know that there is a reason God chose me for this path. Some days, I get really angry and sad. I have no doubt that I am going to beat this thing and be a better person for it.
The most trouble I am having is in accepting the fact that there are just certain things that I can't do or that take 10 times as long as they used to. When I was working, I usually had 3 projects I was working on at the same time, answering email, going to meetings, dealing with a small crisis, making decisions with no trouble. Now, a simple trip to the mall or a store is completely exhausting. I can't walk very far, because my leg just decides that it's not going to work. When I get into a store and it's crowded and there are lots of displays up, I can't remember what I was there for. I had a near meltdown in Wal-Mart the other day, because of all of the people, and what I neded wasn't easily accessible. We ended up leaving. Granted, it's not a far stretch to have a meltdown in Wal-Mart on a good day.
So now I find that I need to plan out my days and make sure that I take breaks in between all I am trying to do. I am not driving now either, so if I need something, I can't even get it myself. Keith has become my chauffeur, which he has been great about. This is very tough stuff for a type A such as myself.
I finally figured out on Friday, that I am so busy trying not to think about what is upcoming, that I have been staying way too busy. So now that the kids are back in school I decided that this week is about me dealing with this. So if phone calls go unreturned or emails aren't answered, it is just that I need time to lay around and do nothing and try to process all of the info that I have received lately.
That's all for now!