And So It Continues...

My neurologist sent me for an MRI of my head, and the rest of my spine. I am not that claustrophobic, but spending 2 hours in an MRI machine is enough to drive anyone a little batty. I got through it though. When the tech finished scanning my head and took me out of the scanner to change the equipment, she informed me that I would be having a CAT scan of my head before I left. Of course, she couldn't tell me why, but I knew at that point they must have found something in my head. That was on a Monday and my appointment wasn't until Thursday. Talk about time standing still!

SOOO finally Thursday rolled around and I got the news. He took me out into the hall where my films were posted and showed me the results. Suffice to say that i don't read MRI's, but I knew that s***t wasn't right. At that point he started talking Multiple Sclerosis, but there was also some type of cyst in my head near the sclerotic region. At this point I started to loose it. All I could see was this abnormal picture that was supposed to be my brain and the doctor was talking to us. It was surreal.. all I could here was "wah wah wah." About the time I almost passed out in Keith's arms, here took me back into the exam room. When I was able to get myself a little more together, we started talking about what it all meant. Both he and the radiologist felt that I had something called "tumefactive MS. " Normally MS presents with symptoms such as double vision or blurred vision. Also, the is usually more that one lesion on the brain, which I didn't have. the cyst is also typical of tumefactive MS, but it could also be a brain tumor. Like the god little nurse that I am, I went home and researched MS on-line, because I was not going to let some stupid disease stop me! I had a whole list of questions when I went to see Dr. B. the next day.The next step was ANOTHER MRI, the very next day. This time, they did something called a spectroscopy. Basically, they measured the chemistry of the thing in my head, while I was in the MRI scanner. After my MRI I had to go see Dr. B again. He wanted to put me on steroids to decrease the swelling in my brain and gave me something to help me sleep. This would probably be the time to mention that we are moving into a brand new hospital on August 16th, so life is absolutely crazy and insane. Dr. B. put a stop to that. He took me out of work because he thought the stress was adversely effecting my health. It turns out to be for the best, because my stress level has gone down, you know, as much as that's possible while your waiting for a diagnosis of brain tumor versus chronic illness!!

I realize that I may sound a little flip about this whole thing, but the only way to get through this is with a little humor and a lot of tears!! Keith has been my rock through the whole thing, telling we "we are going to get through this, no mater what." I'm sorry if anyone is offended by gallows humor, but if your in the medical profession, it's the only was to get through a crisis. Medical professionals are made to help other people through their crises, we're not good at managing our own!

The next step in this process was to meet with the neurosurgeon, to schedule a brain biopsy. Yes that's right, they actually drill a hole in your head and take a piece of this thing in your head to get a definitive diagnosis. That appointment was supposed to be yesterday, but I got a call that Dr. S was called away to an emergency and had to cancel, could I come in next Friday August 15th, instead? Are you kidding me? Put my life on hold for another week??!!! Of course being the polite, understanding patient I am I said yes and promptly started balling my head off. Once again, Keith was left to put the pieces together.
After a crying jag that lastedmore than a few minutes, I pulled myself together and called Dr. B's nurse. She and Dr. B. took pity on me and we went to the office to see him that afternoon. He was very apologetic about my appointment being cancelled, which wasn't his fault anyway. I told him that I get surgical emergencies, I just didn't think it was fair to have to wait another 8 days to even schedule the biopsy. My god, couldn't they bump somebody else who didn't possibly have a brain tumor???!!! It's not like I had an ingrown toenail that could wait a little while. Dr. B, being the awesome doc that he is, got me an appointment on Tuesday (8/12) with the neurosurgeon. Just spending time talking to him was enough to calm me down.
We also talked about the spectroscopy. Apparently, the chemistry of it makes it look more like a brain tumor than MS. He suspects that this tumor could have been growing slowly inside me for 20 years!!! This is actually a good thing. The tumors that are worse are the ones that show up suddenly. So, next Tuesday I should know when my biopsy will be scheduled and can start making some plans. I still can't believe that this is happening to me, it feels like some kind of dream. More Later